Saturday, November 14, 2015

10 Youth You May Not Be Reaching

Post by Eric Gallagher, Discipleship Focused Youth Ministry

One of the things that I find myself doing frequently is looking at the youth in our parish and around our community and wondering what I can do- or really, what the Church might be able to do- in order to help them to know Jesus Christ if they do not know him already. For those who do, I wonder if they are engaged in growing and developing that relationship. It reminds me of a video produced by Dan Cathy from Chic-Fil-A entitled Every Life Has a Story.

Recently, we have featured a couple of blog posts (here and here) on how we cannot simply offer one program and expect that it will meet the needs of all of the youth in the parish. The reality is that everyone has unique needs, and we live in a world now where people demand a customized experience. I would argue that it is no different for our efforts in the Church. I thought it would be fun to brainstorm some of the different types of youth I have encountered who require a unique approach. This list is definitely not meant to be comprehensive, and I understand that youth cannot be categorized as simplistically as I have done here, but the purpose is to help us realize the many different approaches we need to consider in order to be more pastoral in our youth ministry efforts.

Here are 10 types of youth that you may not be reaching and some quick thoughts on how you can:

The Game Hater
This is the youth that won’t come to youth group or summer camp because they hate games. Believe me, it is possible (I was one of them). This youth is looking for opportunities to grow but would like to be involved in something that doesn’t waste their time with useless activities.

The Devout Soul
This youth has an active prayer life and is probably already doing most of the things you encourage youth to do in a large group setting. In order for them to be truly engaged, they will need to be challenged. Learn their charisms, and be upfront with them in the ways that you know they can still grow.

The Gamer
Every week, this youth struggles with the decision to either go to the church for youth stuff or stay home and play video games. Engage this youth by showing him the importance of authentic friendship. Have an adult begin spending time with him, and surround him with a community of youth who have fun but also don’t make him feel incredibly guilty for playing games.

The Church Hater
It is likely that you will have youth come to your programs who for various reasons are forced to attend. Or, this may also refer to those youth in the schools that you may only be able to reach through their friends who are in your programs . Simply doing fun activities or trying to impress them with entertainment will not be enough. Encouraging a missionary culture and simply being real with them are good first steps to become a bridge to Christ for these youth.

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Wednesday, November 4, 2015

29 Face-Palm-Worthy Church Bulletin Bloopers


By ChurchPOP Editor
ChurchPOP.com

1) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

2) Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson’s sermons.

3) Don’t let worry kill you. Let the Church help.

4) Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.

5) For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

6) The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

7) At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.

8) Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

9) The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

10) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

11) The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge–Up Yours.”

12) A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

13) The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

14) The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

15) The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.

16) During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

17) The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

18) Stewardship Offertory: “Jesus Paid It All”

19) Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

20) Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

21) Janet Smith has volunteered to strip and refinish the communion table in the sanctuary.

22) The preacher will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth With Joy”.

23) Our next song is “Angels We Have Heard Get High.”

24) If you need to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.

25) It’s Drug Awareness Week: Get involved in drugs before your children do.

26) Illiterate? Write to the church office for help.

27) The class on prophecy has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

28) GOD IS GOOD! Dr. Hargreaves is better! [The pastor had been sick]

29) Please welcome Pastor Don, a caring individual who loves hurting people.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

17 Knee-Slappingly Hilarious Christian Jokes


By ChurchPop Editor
ChurchPop.com

1) Atheists don’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers.

2) Even though Catholics in space are weightless, do they have mass?

3) Though humble in secular matters, the minister had an altar ego.

4) Never hire a depressed exorcist – they’re not very good at lifting spirits.

5) When the church relocated it had an organ transplant.

6) The church insisted on a new seminary graduate. They were looking for greener pastors.

7) Did you hear about the nervous preacher? He had sweaty psalms.

8) A man who wanted to sing in church was wondering if he should inquire.

9) Although I did not know the name of the boy who bumped his chin while playing a song in the children’s handbell choir, his face rang a bell.

10) Our Lady of Perpetual Motion Convent received a government subsidy for their fleet of minivans because they qualified as a mass transit system.

11) History has been unfair to Salome. She was just an ambitious young woman who wanted to get ahead.

12) Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? The area around Jordan: the banks were always overflowing.

13) When Jesus entered Jerusalem, people waved palm branches because they were being frondly.

14) What kind of food is permitted to eat while fasting? Fast food.

15) Sermons and biscuits are both improved by shortening!

16) The priest was very stern during the service last Sunday. After church I was distressed. I then realized that we had experienced critical mass.

17) Read your Bible. It will scare the hell out of you.

What’s your favorite Christian joke not in this list? Share in the comments!