Co-author Your Life with God

We are freshly into the Year for Consecrated Life. Now is the optimum time to consider your life story. What are you going to do? Who are you going to be? Where will you go? How will you serve the Lord and people? How can the Church help?

As we live we constantly discern, much of the time subconsciously. Why not live with more passion and purpose? Start thinking about your direction in life today. While you're at it, consider visiting this blog to aid your discernment. It's a great way to start thinking, start praying, and start inviting God into your decisions. We are co-authors in the story of our lives, and God never impinges upon our freedom. Yet we are best off when we give ourselves to the Lord's plans and not our own. Are you becoming the best version of yourself?

December Parent Newsletter

For any parents that missed it and anyone interested, here is our December Parent Newsletter, which you can always find under the Newsletters page on this blog. Happy Advent and Christmas to you and your loved ones. Oh come let us adore Him!

To subscribe to the parent newsletter by email, click here.

Click here for our December Parent Newsletter.

How to have a conversation with Christ

You do not have to be clever to please Me; all you have to do is want to love Me. Just speak to Me as you would to anyone of whom you are very fond.

Are there any people you want to pray for? Say their names to Me, and ask of Me as much as you like. I know all their needs, but I want you to show your love for them and Me by trusting Me to do what I know is best.

Tell Me about the poor, the sick, and the sinners, and if you have lost the friendship or affection of anyone tell Me about that too.

Is there anything you want for your soul? If you like, you can write out a long list of all your needs, and come and read it to Me. Tell Me of the things you feel guilty about I will forgive you, if you will accept My forgiveness.

Just tell Me about your pride, your touchiness, your self-centeredness. I still love you in spite of these. Do not be ashamed; there are many saints in Heaven who had the same faults as you; they prayed to Me and little by little their faults were corrected. Do not hesitate to ask Me for blessings for the body and mind; for health, memory, success. I can give everything needed to make souls holier for those who truly want it.

What is it you want today? Tell Me, for I long to do you good. What are your plans? Tell Me about them. Is there anyone you want to please? What do you want to do for them?

Are you afraid of anything? Have you any tormenting, unreasonable fears? Trust yourself to Me. I am here. I see everything. I will not leave you.

Have you no joys to tell Me about? Why do you not share your happiness with Me? Tell Me what has happened since yesterday to cheer and comfort you. Whatever it was, however big or small, I prepared it. Show Me your gratitude and thank Me.

Are temptations bearing heavily upon you? Yielding to temptations always disturbs the peace of your soul Ask Me, and I will help you overcome them.

Well, go along now. Get on with your work or play or other interests. Try to be quieter, humbler, kinder; and come back soon and bring me a more loving heart. Tomorrow I shall have more blessings for you.

Author unknown

50 Ways to Strengthen Ministry with Youth

This list comes from the Lewis Center for Church Leadership. Read it in its original form here.

1. Appreciate and validate youth as persons of sacred worth with legitimate spiritual needs and responses.
2. Understand young persons as participants in ministry, not objects of ministry.
3. Shake off stereotypes of youth as irreligious, rebellious and difficult.
4. Don’t make young people be like you before they can be like Jesus.
5. Don’t guess at young people’s needs. Solicit input and feedback from teens themselves, not just parents and adults leaders. Invite them to suggest ways the church can help them grow in faith.
6. Appreciate that youth ministry is more than youth group. Encourage youth to be involved in all aspects of church life.
7. Advocate for youth.
8. Know that parental influence is the primary factor determining the religious commitment of youth, even for older teens.
9. Support faith formation in the parents of youth. Getting parents involved and serious about their own faith is the best way to get youth involved and serious.
10. Start a study group for parents of teens aimed at helping them understand how to nurture their teenagers’ spirituality.
11. Provide resources for practicing and discussing faith at home — for praying together as a family, for observing Christian holidays, and conversing about faith issues.
12. Consider an intergenerational format for Christian education that has youth and parents study together.
13. Provide support groups and resources on family concerns and child-raising issues.
14. Teach parents the importance of just hanging out with their kids.
15. Ask if your youth Sunday School curriculum is seriously addressing the questions kids are really asking.
16. Honestly address issues related to sexuality. Offer a first-rate program on human sexuality to which parents would want to send their kids.
17. Recognize that discussion and conversation are essential to faith formation.
18. Use current events as discussion topics.
19. Give teens permission to ask questions and talk about their doubts.
20. Empower youth to rewrite hymns and prayers in ways that are meaningful to them.
21. Get acquainted with the music kids spend their time listening to. Help youth make connections between their music and faith. Allow them to find their voice and worship God in their own musical languages and styles.
22. Articulate the basic tenets of the faith clearly and often.
23. Emphasize experience-centered learning. Faith must be experienced before it can be articulated. Experience is often more important than information about faith.
24. Provide training in spiritual disciplines — prayer, Scripture reading, acts of mercy. Emphasize the practices of faith.
25. Integrate “service learning” into Christian education to teach discipleship. Involve youth in planning and leading mission activities.
26. Recruit adult leaders for youth activities who are knowledgeable, committed, spiritually mature, and effective in communicating with young people. Don’t assume that a young adult is necessarily best suited for the job.
27. Provide training for youth teachers and leaders, especially on discussion and listening skills.
28. Perform required background checks for volunteers and staff working with youth. Implement policies and procedures to prevent child abuse.
29. Invest in youth ministry. A meaningful commitment to reach youth must be reflected in your budget and staffing decisions and the commitment of the pastor’s time.
30. Give youth meaningful and visible roles as worship participants.
31. Make youth worship experience-based. The elements of worship should all connect to a central message that causes the worshiper to make a connection with God.
32. Use popular songs, movie clips, or poems to connect the message with the broader culture.
33. Have youth write their own liturgies and prayers.
34. Youth ministry is about relationships. Relationships are more important than programs. Young persons are seeking a sense of belonging.
35. Strive to integrate youth into the church as a whole. Youth programs should equip and empower youth as congregational participants, not isolate or “ghettoize” them.
36. Be present for kids. Listen.
37. Kids need and value stability, routines, and ritual, even if they don’t act like it.
38. Combat cliquishness. Reinforce inclusiveness and acceptance of peers.
39. Build group cohesiveness with retreats and mission trips providing opportunities for sustained interaction.
40. Build a sense of accomplishment among young persons with challenging music, drama, or service activities. The ability to develop “competence” is one of the hooks connecting kids to church.
41. Give youth real responsibilities.
42. Extend leadership opportunities to as many youth as possible. Give them an active role in the leadership and decision making of the church.
43. Start a youth-led worship service.
44. Be consistent with your meeting times and place. Meeting at the church is often preferable to meeting in different homes because it is a well-known location and “neutral” territory.
45. Divide junior high and senior high youth if possible. Older teens will tend to fall way from groups with many younger kids.
46. Involve the youth in planning all their activities.
47. Balance recreation, study, devotion and fellowship.
48. Schedule a “big event” every month to make it easy for youth to invite their friends.
49. Enlist parents as allies. Their support is critical.
50. Have clear policies about behavioral boundaries and discipline.

Advent in Two Minutes

Welcome to Advent! It's an exciting time in the Church calendar as we eagerly await the coming of Christ. What are you doing to prepare for Christmas and the Incarnation this year? Do you have two minutes to get primed for the season with this video?

 

Hallelujah

Some spice to an old favorite for the beauty of the Advent season leading to the Incarnation of Christ on Dec. 25. Oh come let us adore Him.

Advent Conspiracy

This is a video we worked on for this year's Advent Conspiracy push. If you, your church, or your organization would like to know more, just go to www.adventconspiracy.org

November Parent Newsletter

Plenty is afoot with OLV Teen: A 100-teen Confirmation retreat, Junior Rally with dozens of others Treasure Valley middle schoolers, Theology of the Body for Middle Schoolers, family dinners among those preparing for First Communion, the Hot Seat night with questions for our priests, and the involvement of parents in our program. Get the latest in our November Parent Newsletter.

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Three Things That Almost Guarantee Teens Stay Catholic

This post comes from Fr. Matthew P. Schneider at ProjectYM.com. See it in its original form here.

We all want to live our life by guarantees. What if I told you that if you’re able to get teens to have three simple factors, there’s an 80% chance the weekly mass attendees as adults? In Christian Smith’s Young Catholic America, he actually pointed out what these three factors are. 80% may not seem high but for comparison, the following combos don’t even produce 50%:

• High parental importance of faith, high teen importance of Faith, and teen frequently reads Scripture
• High teen importance of faith, teen attends Sunday School, and teen has many adults he can talk to about the faith
• High parental importance of faith, high teen importance of religious faith, attends Sunday School, and teen has many religious experiences

In this blog post I want to examine these three factors, then talk about how youth ministry, or better said the church’s ministry to teens, can achieve these three factors.

Christian Smith is a leading sociologist on the sociology of religion: he did a study of over 2000 young adults in their teen years on the religiosity and then followed up with them while they were in their 20s. As far as I know, there aren’t many comparable studies. When he followed up with the Catholics, the results are so amazing he compiled them into a separate book. One interesting thing is that if Catholics go to mass their 20s statistically speaking they will probably go to mass until they die but if they don’t go to mass their 20s the chances that they come back in the 30s, 40s, 50s, or 60s is actually rather slim. At the end of the book, he talks about how different combination of factors can come together to ensure that Catholic teens are active Catholics (for him, this basically means attending mass weekly, although I would hope that a truly active Catholic would do more). There are only seven possible path that lead to more than 50% of the teens remaining active Catholics as adults – and some of these require 4 or 5 factors to come together. Of the seven paths one stands out for two reasons: it produces an 80% success rate at having active Catholic adults and all three of the factors are things that we can create the environment where there almost definitely going to happen.

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ABCs of Fostering Vocations

This article comes from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB). See it in its original form here.

A: Answer your children's questions about priesthood or Religious life; never discourage them or ridicule them if they bring it up.

Ask your child to identify a talent which he or she has, and imagine together what work or ministry God might want someone to do with that type of talent. Also talk about what good things can be done with the talent right now. For instance, singing talent could be used to sing a baby brother or sister to sleep. Talent at soccer could be used to help someone on the team who needs extra practice.

B: Bring your family to the next ordination mass or prayer vigil for religious.

C: Challenge teens and young adults to consider a Church-related vocation. Tell them about the gifts in ministry you see in them. Encourage them to participate in at least one special vocation event (ordination, vocation retreat, Focus 11, etc.).

Cultivate an attitude of service by responding as a family to the needs of others. Seek out those in need and find ways to care for them.

D: Discuss your own vocation to family life, explaining that God calls some people to priesthood or religious life, some to marriage, and some to life as single laypeople. You can talk about vocations firsthand!

E: Encourage your children to be involved in the liturgical life of the parish as servers, lectors, musicians, etc. (and see to it that they get there on time).

Explore the feelings you might experience should one of your children choose to give his or her life to Church ministry and discuss with your spouse your feelings and reactions if one of your children decided to become a priest or nun.

F: Find opportunities to affirm the gifts and talents of your children, and help them relate their gifts to various career and life choices (including priesthood and religious life).

G: Guide your junior high child to pray that he or she might discover and use the gifts God has given.

H: Have a priest come and bless your home. Have your younger children make a cross to hang in each bedroom in your home.

I: Include the diocesan vocation prayer in your personal and family prayer, especially on Wednesdays. Invite a priest, brother or sister to dinner or to an outing with your family.

J: Join together in prayer as a family; include a short vocations prayer when you pray before meals (especially on Wednesday).

K: Keep an eye open for TV shows and movies that present Gospel-centered role models. Watch them with your children and engage in a discussion.

L: Let your children see their Baptism pictures. Have the children make and send a card or note to the priest who baptized them promising him they will pray for them.

Let your children notice an attitude of openness to God's will in you.

M: Make time for teenagers in your life: your children and their friends, nieces and nephews, babysitters, etc.

N: Name the gifts of each family member on their birthday. Express gratitude for these gifts.

O: On the date of your child's baptism, talk about the life of the saint for whom the child is named (or the saint’s day it is). There is plenty of information about the background of saints on the Internet. The saints are people from all walks of life who tried to make a positive difference in the world--a goal as real today as it was for the saints.

P: Pray for the seminarians of the diocese by name if you can find out their names; you may want to “spiritually adopt” one of them.

Q: Quiz your children and discuss with them stories of calls in Scripture (e.g. Mary's response to God in Luke 1:26-39, Jesus' calling the Apostles in Mt 4:18-22, etc.).

R: Remember in prayer by name those who minister to your family and include in your family prayers petitions for those called to priesthood and consecrated life.

S: Set aside a "family time" each week for kids to talk about what is happening in lives. Let them share about their day.

Share the story of your own vocational choice with your children. Celebrate the occasion of your wedding anniversary as you share the story of your vocation to married life.

Support and participate in any school or parish vocation activities.

T: Talk about your family’s ethnic or cultural heritage at supper, while driving in the car, or at some other time when family members are all together. Pass along memories of cultural aspects of holiday and other celebrations that you remember.

Talk positively and enthusiastically about the priests, sisters, brothers, and deacons in your parish and share with your children the stories of the priests or sisters who have inspired you and how (e.g. priest at your wedding, or baptized your children, priests or religious from school, etc.).

Tell your children why you chose your particular profession. Who helped you form your decision?

U: Use books and videos to familiarize your children with saints who are priests or vowed religious. Use these lives of the saints as a springboard for discussion on these lifestyles.

Utilize opportunities to share your vocation as parents: what you value, how you came to that decision, and the importance of faith in your life.

V: Visit Churches and Shrines while on vacation and offer prayers together as a family.

W: Witness to your own vocation by telling stories about how you fell in love. Let the children see the love and care that parents have for each other.

XYZ: The end of the alphabet, but certainly not the end of ways or ideas to foster vocations at home!

In Sickness and In Health

“In sickness and in health.”

On two occasions I have said those words with the full confidence that the couple repeating those words actually knew what they meant.

The first occurrence brought a smile to my face. She had endured and marriage was her reward on the other side of illness. Together they have journeyed through the struggles of a serious disease as boyfriend and girlfriend. Now they would be husband and wife. They knew what “in sickness and in health” meant.

The second occurrence brought a tear to my eye. She had weeks to live. The vow renewal was his gift to her. I almost cut the words fearing the might be too painful. But with a crowd gathered I included them as a testimony to all who would hear them say, “in sickness and in health.” They meant it and everyone knew it.

Few people consider sickness and suffering when picking a mate.

They consider how the other person might look in the morning or what bad habits they might have.

They consider what offspring they could produce or what extended family they might bring to the reunion.

Yet few people ever consider what is a vital question—can I suffer with this person?

It sounds like the beginning of another marriage joke, but it’s not.

It’s a real question and one which should be explored by every dating couple.

Suffering is a part of life.

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20 Things We Should Say More Often

50 People, 1 Question

We have a new bishop-elect

Big news arrived in our Diocese of Boise this morning. Here is the press release from the Diocesan Office:

BOISE — Pope Francis announced at the Vatican today that he had accepted the resignation of Bishop Michael P. Driscoll, Seventh Bishop of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Boise, and named Bishop Peter F. Christensen, of the Diocese of Superior, Wisconsin, as Eighth Bishop of Boise.

“I would like to thank the Holy Father Pope Francis, Archbishop Carlos Maria Vigano and all who made possible this opportunity to serve the church in Idaho. I am humbled by the Holy Father’s confidence in me, and pray that I may be worthy of his trust,” Bishop Christensen said at a press conference Nov. 4 at the Diocesan Pastoral Center.

“This is a wonderful and diverse state with beautiful mountains and prairies, deserts, rivers and green valleys. Yet nothing reveals the love of God for this community more than the good works and faithfulness of his people. I look forward to seeing the beauty of creation through the holiness and love of Idaho Catholics, and hope that you see God’s love reflected in me in the same way.”

Bishop Driscoll, who submitted his letter of resignation to the pope on Aug. 8, 2014, when he turned 75 years old, applauded the pope’s choice for Idaho’s new bishop.

“I am thrilled with the selection of Bishop Christensen as the next Bishop of Boise. He is a man of energy and prayer and love for the church, and will find in Idaho a community of committed and faithful Catholics willing to serve and follow him in the years ahead. I am also very grateful to Pope Francis for granting my request for retirement,” Bishop Driscoll said. “I have thoroughly enjoyed my time serving the people and the Catholic Church of Idaho.”

Bishop Christensen will be installed as Bishop of Boise at a Mass Dec. 17 in St. John Cathedral.

Bishop Driscoll will continue to oversee the daily governance of the diocese until Bishop Christensen is installed.

Do we know their names?

We're All Pumpkins

If my child marries yours...

If my child marries yours…

I just want you to know that I'm praying for you.

When I'm awake at night - feeding babies, burping babies, giving tylenol to a feverish toddler, covering up chilly toes, tucking green monkeys under little arms - I think of you. Because chances are, you're awake too, doing the same sorts of things. Taking care of tiny children that I already love because they will someday hold the hearts that are beating against my chest tonight.

I'm praying that you'll stand firm against the pressures to overcommit and hyper-schedule, that you'll shut out the voices that tell you you're not doing enough, that your kids aren't doing enough.

I'm praying you'll have the wisdom to know when to pick that crying baby up out of her crib and when to just sit outside her door, your fingertips pressed to the wood, willing her to feel your love and comfort and just finally fall asleep.

I'm praying that you will take those children to church...that the mothers and fathers of our future grandchildren will grow up knowing what it means to worship, even when that means missing out-of-town basketball tournaments and marathon sleepovers.

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Question of the Week: Forgiveness, Mercy, and Perfection

As part of our preparation for Confirmation, we need to ask questions and seek answers to our thoughts about life, faith, God, the Church, and our role in the world. In fact, we should never stop asking questions and seeking answers in our lives whether we are a five-year-old repeatedly asking why or a ninety-nine-year-old pondering the mysteries of the universe. Each week we will tackle one question that a teen asked at the beginning of the year, answering the question both at an OLV Teen Night and here in the blogosphere. Chime in with your thoughts as long as they are constructive and approaching the topic with love. Thanks for sharing in the journey!

Q: If God forgives us all for our sins then why does the church still want us to be perfect?

A: A good coach in sports, music, academics, or any pursuit balances praise and prescription. The coach has to celebrate the things a student does well ("Nice catch!" "You really got that Mozart piece down!" "Way to go on your times tables!") and what a student can do better ("Next time, make sure you tuck the ball close to your body so you don't fumble." "Be sure you are using the right fingers to play that sequence on the piano." "You just missed one on your test."). Criticism, when it's well-placed, can make us better football players, piano players, math students, and human beings. That's why the Church, why our priests, and why the Lord doesn't let us settle for being a lesser version of ourselves.

God's mercy is endless. We cannot commit a sin that God cannot forgive. However, we are responsible for responding to God's mercy with our own love. Our lives need to be transformed when we come to know God's love. That's where the Sacrament of Reconciliation/Penance/Confession comes in. We don't need this Sacrament to have our sins forgiven--God can do that any time. What confession offers us is reconciliation to the community, acknowledgement that we have fallen short, accountability to another human being, and grace--sweet, abundant, beautiful, healing GRACE. Grace both helps us to be the best version of ourselves and helps us to know God more deeply through our actions.

In Matthew 5:48, Jesus says, "So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect." He calls us to a deeper level of self awareness, a level where we are constantly striving for virtue, where we are trying to deeply know, love, and serve the Lord. We won't ever be perfect in this life, but that shouldn't stop us from trying. As a bumper sticker I saw once said, "Get to Heaven or die trying!"

My Side of the Confessional: What Is It Like for a Priest?

By Fr. Mike Schmitz, LifeTeen.com (see this blog in its original form here)

I was once riding in a shuttle-bus with a number of older folks on the way from an airport. They noticed that I was a priest and started asking questions about it.

“Do you do all of the priest stuff?”

“Yep.”

“Even the Confession thing?”

“Yeah. All the time.”

One older lady gasped, “Well, I think that that would be the worst. It would be so depressing; hearing all about people’s sins.”

I told them that it was the exact opposite. There is almost no greater place to be than with someone when they are coming back to God. I said, “It would depressing if I had to watch someone leave God; I get to be with them when they come back to Him.” The Confessional is a place where people let God’s love win. The Confessional is the most joyful, humbling, and inspiring place in the world.

What do I see during Confession?
I think there are three things. First, I see the costly mercy of God in action. I get to regularly come face to face with the overwhelming, life-transforming power of God’s love. I get to see God’s love up-close and it reminds me of how good God is.

Not many folks get to see the way in which God’s sacrifice on the Cross is constantly breaking into people’s lives and melting the hardest hearts. Jesus consoles those who are grieving their sins . . . and strengthens those who find themselves wanting to give up on God or on life.

As a priest, I get to see this thing happen every day.

I see a saint in the making.
The second thing I see is a person who is still trying – a saint in the making. I don’t care if this is the person’s third confession this week; if they are seeking the Sacrament of Reconciliation, it means that they are trying. That’s all that I care about. This thought is worth considering: going to Confession is a sign that you haven’t given up on Jesus.

This is one of the reasons why pride is so deadly. I have talked with people who tell me that they don’t want to go to Confession to their priest because their priest really likes them and ‘thinks that they are a good kid.’

I have two things to say to this.

He will not be disappointed! What your priest will see is a person who is trying! I dare you to find a saint who didn’t need to God’s mercy! (Even Mary needed God’s mercy; she received the mercy of God in a dramatic and powerful way at her conception. Boom. Lawyered.)

So what if the priest is disappointed? We try to be so impressive with so much of our lives. Confession is a place where we don’t get to be impressive. Confession is a place where the desire to impress goes to die. Think about it: all other sins have the potential to cause us to race to the confessional, but pride is the one that causes us to hide from the God who could heal us.

Do I remember your sins? NO!
So often, people will ask if I remember people’s sin from Confession. As a priest, I rarely, if ever, remember sins from the confessional. That might seem impossible, but the truth is, sins aren’t all that impressive. They aren’t like memorable sunsets or meteor showers or super-intriguing movies… they are more like the garbage.

And if sins are like garbage, then the priest is like God’s garbage-man. If you ask a garbage-man about the gross-est thing he’s ever had to haul to the dump, maaaaaaybe he could remember it. But the fact is, once you get used to taking out the trash, it ceases to be noteworthy, it ceases to stand out.

Honestly, once you realize that the Sacrament of Reconciliation is less about the sin and more about Christ’s death and resurrection having victory in a person’s life, the sins lose all of their luster, and Jesus’ victory takes center stage.

In Confession, we meet the life-transforming, costly love of God… freely given to us every time we ask for it. We meet Jesus who reminds us, “You are worth dying for… even in your sins, you are worth dying for.”

Whenever someone comes to Confession, I see a person who is deeply loved by God and who is telling God that they love Him back. That’s it, and that’s all.

In Confession, I see my own weakness.
The third thing a priest sees when he hears Confessions is his own soul. It is a scary place for a priest. I cannot tell you how humbled I am when someone approaches Jesus’ mercy through me.

I am not over-awed by their sins; I am struck by the fact that they have been able to recognize sins in their life that I have been blind to in my own. Hearing someone’s humility breaks down my own pride. It is one of the best examinations of conscience.

But why is Confession a scary place for a priest? It is frightening because of the way in which Jesus trusts me to be a living sign of His mercy.

Archbishop Fulton Sheen once told priests that we scarcely realize what is happening when we extend our hands over someone’s head in absolution. We don’t realize, he said, that the very Blood of Christ is dripping from our fingers onto their heads, washing the penitent clean.

The day after I was ordained, we had a little party and my dad stood up and made a toast. He has worked his entire life as an orthopedic surgeon, and he was a very good one. My whole life, his patients have come up to me at one time or another and told me how their lives have been changed because my dad was such a good surgeon.

So, there my dad was, standing in the midst of these people, and he began to say, ‘My whole life, I have used my hands to heal people’s broken bodies. But from now on, my son Michael… um, Father Michael… will use his hands (at this point, he got choked up)… He will use his hands to heal broken souls. His hands will save even more lives than mine have.’

Confession is such a powerful place. All I have to do is offer God’s mercy, love, and redemption… but I don’t want to get in Jesus’ way. The priest stands in judgment of no one. In the Confessional, the only thing I have to offer is mercy.

I get to sacrifice for you.
Lastly, when a priest hears Confessions, he is taking on another responsibility.

One time, after college, I was returning to Confession after a long time and a lot of sin and the priest simply gave me something like “one Hail Mary” as my penance. I stopped.

“Um, Father…? Did you hear everything I said?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Don’t you think I should get a bigger penance than that?”

He looked at me with great love and said, “No. That small penance is all that I’m asking of you.” He hesitated, and then continued, “But you should know… I will be fasting for you for the next 30 days.”

I was stunned. I didn’t know what to do. He told me that the Catechism teaches that the priest must do penance for all those who come to him for Confession. And here he was, embracing a severe penance for all of my severe sins.

This is why Confession reveals the priest’s own soul; it reveals his willingness to sacrifice his life with Christ. He sees our sins as a burden that he will take up (with Jesus!) and offer them to the Father, while offering us the mercy of God.

Remember, Confession is always a place of victory. Whether you have confessed a particular sin for the first time, or if this is the 12,001st time, every Confession is a win for Jesus. And I, a priest, get to be there. That’s what it’s like… I get to sit and watch Jesus win His children back all day.

It’s flippin’ awesome.

How to think about Halloween as a Catholic

By SIMCHA FISHER, CatholicEducation.org

How delightful it is to be Catholic, when so few things are forbidden — so few things are out of the question.

While I was busy rubbing my hands together and thinking about how hilarious and yet subversively informative my post about Halloween costumes was going to be (once I got around to writing it), noted overachieving spoilsport Jimmy Akin went ahead and wrote it. Even worse, the big show-off produced a slick video about it, including some very relevant images of kittens and puppies. He also, without losing his rhythm, got sidetracked by thinking about delicious brains.

Akin makes the sensible point that people are attracted to spooky stuff for a reason — that God made us so that we enjoy small doses of peril and tension, because it prepares us to deal with the real thing, which will surely come along sooner or later. (This is where the adorable and extremely relevant, but adorable fighting kitties comes in.) So as long as we don't spend our lives wallowing in gore and ghoulishness, it's healthy and normal and perfectly fine to indulge in a little dramatic scaring and screaming from time to time. Therefore, spooky Halloween stuff? A-OK.

Akin's point reminds me of something my sister once pointed out: that when Daddy tosses the baby up in the air and baby laughs, it's because there really is a joke there, albeit a very simple one. The situation says, "You're in danger!" but the baby knows, "But it's Daddy! I'm fine!" See? Funny stuff right there, if you're a baby. And a pretty good analogy for the delightfully childlike question, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" Whee! There's yet a third answer to the question of whether creepy, gory costumes and other Halloweeny practices (or scary stuff in general) are appropriate for Catholics to indulge in: some Catholics argue, "This isn't just a little holiday from the somber demands of my Faith — it's actually my way of laughing at the devil! I'm spitting in ol' Nick's eye and reaffirming the truth of the triumph of the Resurrection when I . . . um. . . buy this rubber mask of a clown with an axe splitting his forehead open. See? Ad majorem dei gloriam! Wooooooooooooooo!" I used to roll my eyes over these rather contrived arguments, thinking, "Gee whiz, just admit that you want to have fun sometimes, and stop trying to make some big religious deal out of everything."

But honestly, now I think that even overthinking it can be a perfectly legitimate Catholic approach, if that's what appeals to you.

Click here to continue reading.

That's My King

I posted this before, but the high schoolers will hear it on Sunday. Plus, it's just COOL. How could you and I not be inspired by these magnificent poem from Dr. S. M. Lockridge?

The Hour that Matters Most

The following are excerpts from The Hour that Matters Most by Les and Leslie Parrott with Stephanie Allen and Tina Kuna.

When you're at home, you want to breathe deeply, lower your shoulders, and relax. There's a feeling of belonging, acceptance, and contentment. At least there should be. Healthy homes--homes that function as they should--refresh, recharge, and renew. They become places where children's identities find flight and values take root.

For Stephanie Allen, her own home was none of these things. As a busy working mom of two active kids, it was all Stephanie could do to keep up with the demands of the daily schedule. Church youth group, soccer practice, and school activities meant lots of time in the car, and very little time for real interaction among family members.

Stephanie longed for the kinds of relationships she remembered with her own parents and sibling when she was growing up: relationships built on conversation and connection--often forged around the dinner table. She remembered the way her family would linger after a meal just to talk and catch up, and she wished her own family could do the same. But after a long day at work and a couple of hours shuttling kids from one activity to the next, who had time for making elaborate meals? Some days it was all she could do to keep up with everything and get a meal on the table for her family. She realized that she needed a game plan.

Stephanie started meeting with a friend once a month to assemble meals for their families. "It was a great time for us to talk and laugh," Stephanie remembers. "And at the end of the day, we each had a month's worth of meals in our freezers, ready to pull out when we needed them. One less thing to stress about." Those monthly "assembly days" provided a sense of liberation from the dreaded daily chore of scrambling home after work to pull together a wholesome for the family....

"So many moms are working hard and trying to keep up, but it's really difficult," she says. "The bottom line is that we just want to raise great kids."

Creating Comfort
Chicken noodle soup, meatloaf, fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes and gravy, bread pudding, brownies, doughnuts, apple pie. These are commonly referred to as "comfort food," and with good reason. Most of us find great comfort in a tasty meal we've grown up with, a meal that doesn't have to be explained by Gourmet or Saveur magazines.

But true comfort, the kind that heals emotional hurts and turns around bad days, involves far more than our palates. One dictionary defines the word comfort as "a feeling of relief or encouragement," or "contented wellbeing." A quick review of the word's origin, though, uncovers a deeper meaning. We get the verb to comfort from the Latin com- + fortis, meaning "to make strong" (that is, like a fortress).

So to comfort literally means to make someone stronger. And that's exactly what you do for your children. Comfort fortifies their spirits. Whenever you encourage your children with uplifting words, console them with a tender touch, relieve their sorrow with your mere presence, support them with heartfelt praise, or provide a wholesome meal and the love that's served with it, you are helping to make your children strong.

What would strengthen your home?
If you pressed a magic button to instantly strengthen your home, what would it do? We don't mean the physical house. We mean the feeling, the chemistry, and the climate of the relationships within it. We're talking about the spirit of your home.

Would you want it to include more laughter? Meaningful and engaging conversations? Vulnerability and respect? Mutual support? These are the things most parents mention. And if you're like the hundreds of parents we've surveyed, you're likely to sum up the desire your have for your home by saying you want it to be the safest place on earth....

...Understanding what makes a healthy home is not the same as building one. That requires being proactive. And in the pressure cooker of our busy daily lives, being proactive is where most of us get bogged down. When emotions are frazzled, bills are mounting, and time is in short supply, doing something proactive can be the last thing on our minds.

But what if that doing were actually easier than you imagined? What if it took less time and were simpler than you could even believe?

That's where the hour that matters most comes in. Countless studies have shown that if parents could take only one proactive and practical step to engender family commitment, appreciation, affection, positive communication, time together, and all the rest, it would be to establish a regular dinnertime around a common table without distraction. One hour a few times a week. That's it.

Click here to learn more about The Hour that Matters Most.

Mother Teresa on God, Love and Charity

These are quotations from Mother Teresa: Her Essential Wisdom, edited by Carol Kelly-Gangi.

I can understand the greatness of God but I cannot understand his humility. It becomes so clear in him being in love with each one of us separately and completely. It is as if there is no one but me in the world. He loves me so much. Each one of us can say this with great conviction.

Do we believe that God's love is infinitely more powerful, his mercy more tender than the evil of sin, than all the hatred, conflicts, and tensions that are dividing the world? Than the most powerful bombs and guns ever made by human hands and minds?

Don't allow anything to interfere with your love for Jesus. You belong to him. Nothing can separate you from him. That one sentence is important to remember. He will be your joy, your strength. If you hold into that sentence, temptations and difficulties will come, but nothing will break you. Remember, you have been created for great things.

Don't search for Jesus in far lands--he is not there. He is close to you; he is with you. Just keep the lamp burning and you will always see him. Keep on filling the lamp with all these little drops of love, and you will see how sweet is the Lord you love.

We are able to go through the most terrible places fearlessly because Jesus in us will never deceive us; Jesus is our love, our strength, our joy, and our compassion.

Jesus loved us to the end, to the very limit, dying on the cross. We must have this same love which comes from within, from our union with Christ. Such love must be as normal to us as living and breathing.

Let us not be afraid to be humble, small, helpless to prove our love for God. The cup of water you give the sick, the way you lift a dying man, the way you feed a baby, the way you teach a dull child, the way you give medicine to a sufferer of leprosy, the joy with which you smile at your own at home--all this is God's love in the world today.

We have to love until it hurts. It is not enough to say, "I love." We must put that love into a living action. And how do we do that? By giving until it hurts.

True love causes pain. Jesus, in order to give the proof of his love, died on the cross. A mother, in order to give birth to her baby, has to suffer. If you really love one another, you will not be able to avoid making sacrifices.

Love is, just like Christ himself showed with his death, the greatest gift.

Love is not patronizing and charity isn't about pity, it is about love. Charity and love are the same--with charity, you give love, so don't just give money but reach out your hand instead.

I try to give to the poor people for love what the rich could get for money. I wouldn't touch a leper for a thousand pounds. Yet I willingly cure him for the love of God.

The words of Jesus, "Love one another as I have loved you," must be not only a light for us but a flame that consumes the self in us. Love, in order to survive, must be nourished by sacrifices, especially the sacrifice of self.

We should always ask ourselves, "Have I really experienced the joy of loving?" True love is love that causes us pain, that hurts, and yet brings us joy. That is why we must pray and ask for the courage to love.

Reptile Adventures

 

A couple guests slithered into OLV Teen last night. Thanks to Reptile Adventures for making our snake-themed night a success. If you are interested in having Reptile Adventures for your birthday, school event, or any other function, visit their website or Facebook page. You can also email them at info@reptileadventures.org or call at 863-1192.

See more images from the night on our Facebook page.

Pigs

October Parent Newsletter

Our October Parent Newsletter went to inboxes last week, but if you missed it, you can always look on the newsletters page on this blog. Click here to view the newsletter and all the good tidbits inside. Thanks for reading and supporting our youth in their faith formation.

What Scares Us About Confession

 

By Tylor Starkey on The Catholic Dormitory

I remember a dear friend who, when in the process of converting, was dreading her first confession. So much so that, when the time came, she was crying the entire way to the confessional. She was scared, confused, and she didn’t entirely know why. Afterwards, she confided that she didn’t want to have to go to the priest, to Christ, and lay out all the things she had done. She didn’t want to seem like a bad person and she knew that’s exactly what she sounded like.

What terrifies us so much about our own sins? To the point that we often cast blame on others for our transgressions, we downplay their importance or even convince ourselves that they weren’t really sins at all. We convince ourselves that we’re not “that bad”. We try to make it seem like we didn’t have a choice or we didn’t really know what we were doing.

We’ve all heard the lines… Maybe I’ll go to the next parish over where I don’t know the priest that well. Maybe I’ll just leave out how many times I’ve done that particular sin. Maybe I’ll talk a bit lower so Father won’t be able to tell it’s me.

Why do we do these things to ourselves? When I was a recent convert, I remember thinking that, surely, these priests have better things to do than listen to my confession. Surely they don’t want to hear all the bad things I’ve done or how often I’ve failed myself and God. The longer I’ve been in Seminary, however, I’ve learned to look at it a bit differently. Here’s an example:

A friend of mine was recently ordained to the priesthood. During a summer camp for high school youth, a month and a half after his ordination, he set up for the night to hear confessions. And these kids lined up out the door. He heard confessions for hours, by himself. After a long night I went to get him, telling him he’d seen everyone. He took off his stole, looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Brother, there is a life after Seminary, and it is magnificent”. He was exhausted, sweating and smiling ear to ear.

I’ve heard from so many priests that the one time they feel most like a priest is in the confessional. Don’t believe me? Ask any of them.

Click here to continue reading.

A to-do list for college-bound seniors

From the Idaho Statesman and McClatchy Newspapers. See this article in its original form here.

Here's some of what high school seniors are thinking about when they're not doing homework, participating in their extracurricular activities, hanging with friends, sleeping, eating or texting: their college list, testing, campus visits, applications, essays, transcripts, activity list, letters of recommendation and scholarships.

• Let's try to destress the situation by creating a fall timeline and breaking each of these bigger tasks into more manageable pieces:
• Finalize the college list, making certain it is balanced with reach/target/safety schools. Be sure to include an in-state safety school for financial reasons.
• Review the standardized testing calendar and register for the SAT in October, November or December or the ACT in October or December.
• Find out whether any colleges on your list recommend or require SAT Subject Tests and register for the tests.
• Check your school's calendar for and take advantage of any teacher work days to schedule campus visits.
• See whether any colleges you're considering offer open house dates or discovery days for seniors.
• Determine which schools offer early action.
• Decide whether a binding early decision option at one college makes sense.
• Figure out which of the colleges on your final list are on the Common Application and which are not.
• Research the number of essays required or recommended by each college and create a document for each college listing their essay prompts and deadlines.
• Set up accounts on each college's website.
• Create a document to keep track user names and passwords for each college.
• Prepare a timeline of activity based on each college's deadline (i.e., don't work on the Common Application if none of your early-action colleges accept the Common Application).
• Brainstorm essay ideas for colleges with the earliest deadlines.
• Write a first draft of essays. Edit essays and edit again. Ask a trusted source to review essays.
• Meet with college representatives when they visit your school.
• Review and order high school transcripts. Find out how your high school sends transcripts to each college. Most high schools transmit transcripts electronically.
• Prepare your resume/brag sheet/activity list and give it to your references.
• Research which colleges accept letters of recommendation, how many they require and how many they will accept.
• Ask teachers, coaches, advisers and employers for letters of recommendation.
• Begin researching scholarships.

Faith Like a Mustard Seed

Remember that having faith small as a mustard seed is not a place to cease following the Lord but to put our deepest selves into learning to love the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, and our neighbor. Mustard seeds grow into magnificent trees when treated with care and cultivated. 

10 Ways to Get Along with Your Parents

As developed by Shannon McCarty and published in Raising Happy, Healthy, and Holy Teenagers by Dr. Robert (Bob) McCarty.

1. Treat your parents as you want them to treat you. Even though it sounds pretty basic, if we want to be treated with respect and fairness, then we have to treat our parents the same way.

2. Remember, parents are people too. That means they are human, they make mistakes, they lose their temper, they say things they do not necessarily mean. And they want to do their best, especially in raising their children.

3. Handle the ordinary, and the special will take care of itself. If we handle our normal curfews, chores, and school responsibilities, when something special comes up, we have a better chance to have the rules relaxed.

4. It is okay to call timeout during family arguments. If you or your parents get really emotional during arguments--and that is when we say things we do not really mean--then agree to call timeout, and come back to the issue when everyone has cooled down.

5. At least once a day, talk to your parents. Communication begins with a willingness to just talk. Parents get nervous when they feel out of touch with their children. So each day, just talk to them about things going on at school, or with your friends, or at your church group.

6. Plan escape routes. Everyone gets into difficult situations; whether on a date, at a party, or just out with friends. So think about your options, in case something happens. Handling ourselves in difficult situations is a sign of maturity and responsibility.

7. Agree on the basics. Talk with your parents about curfews, school expectations, household chores, driving with friends, and other issues, rather than relying on mind reading. Perhaps you can renegotiate the basics on your birthday, so as you get older, you gain more rights and responsibilities.

8. Tell your parents that they are doing a good job. Parents get very little training on how to be good parents. It is more like trial and error. You will really surprise them by telling them they are doing okay.

9. Try to become friends with your parents. As strange as it sounds, when we get older we will be friends with our parents. So begin being friendly, talking with them, and sharing some time together.

10. Learn how to say "I am sorry." It is a sign of maturity to admit when we are wrong about something or at fault. Also, we have a better chance of convincing our parents when we are right.

I Was on the Way to the Abortion Clinic to Abort My Baby, Then This Happened

I am a mom of a three year old little girl and had no plans to get pregnant again because I have a severe spinal injury — a fused pelvis full of metal and can barely walk. I am in constant pain. My pain was so severe I was on dilaudid pills.

I got hurt while on active duty in the U.S. army, during training. My condition is a result of multiple injuries. First I broke my leg — a complete compound fracture, but I was lied to and was told it was only a sprain. So I then attempted to jump out of a 5 ton vehicle with 100 lbs of gear on my body. The drop off was 5.5 ft high — I was standing when I jumped.

My ligaments across my sacrum could not handle the stress because the leg had not healed at that point, so my pelvis gave out on impact, resulting in bi-lateral tears across the SI joint. I then kept going, even though it was painful — just like I did with the leg, because my dream was to be an airborne soldier. While practicing to fall from an 8 ft tall platform, the same thing happened to my other side and my pubic bone. I now have half of a pubic bone, and the only thing holding my pelvis together is my metal hardware, most of which is loose. So there is a lot of pain from that. I have several more surgeries to undergo because the first two were not done properly.

It’s been extremely painful. My life as a person has completely changed since I got out of the military and that in itself has been a journey. I’ve been all across the USA to get treatment for my condition.

That aside, when I became pregnant, I had only been dating the father for a month and a half. The first time we were intimate, our choice of birth control failed. I didn’t think twice about it, because it took 10 months for me to conceive my 3 year old daughter. So when our “protection” malfunctioned, I brushed it off. I had no clue that at that moment, I had become pregnant.

Click here to continue reading.

I Didn't Lose My Virginity When I Got Married

BY JACKIE ANGEL (Read the story in its original form here)

I’ve never punched someone in the face, but there are definitely times I wish I could ignore the virtue of self-control and let a fist fly.

A few months before my wedding, someone asked me (knowing that I was a 29-year old virgin by choice), “So, is your fiancé a virgin, too?” I replied, “Nope.” She responded, “Well at least someone knows what they’re doing.” I pretended not to care about this ridiculously ignorant statement and switched the subject quickly.

But, really? Really?! My brain was reeling with anger and annoyance, while my will did all it could to prevent Jackie Francois from turning into Jackie Chan.

That stupid response irked me on a few levels.

First, people have been having sex for thousands and thousands of years. It’s not like the mechanics of sex are difficult to master, even when it’s two virgins, God forbid! (note the sarcasm).

Secondly, do you really think I’m happy that my husband’s first experience of sex was with someone else because he got to “practice?” Um, let’s think here for a second….NO! I don’t know any girl who just hopes and wishes that her husband has memories of another girl (or girls) he’s been sexually active with or a harem of porn stars he’s been sexually aroused by. Memories don’t just vanish when you start dating someone new or put a ring on your finger or say wedding vows. It takes grace, prayer, time, sometimes counseling, and a lot of healing to rid oneself of these memories.

Thirdly, if my husband had been there to hear this ridiculously insensitive and crude “insight,” he would’ve been even more offended (and maybe tempted to throw a punch, as well). His loss of virginity was never something he boasted about. In fact, he shares his witness here and in the talks we give together about the regret and shame he felt after that moment of weakness and lust. While the culture says that sex is “no big deal” and that people are meant to be “test-driven” before marriage, there are a lot of good Catholic men and women who know sex to be holy and beautiful and worth giving to your spouse alone. Those particular men and women who had sex outside of marriage truly felt that their virginity was lost. One woman described it as a loss of innocence. Another described it as a loss of an idea of what it should’ve been to have sex for the first time when she said, “It wasn’t like the movies. My boyfriend didn’t even hold me afterwards.” Others have said, “I felt used.” Others have felt the loss of pride, because they were the ones who would’ve “never” committed the sin of fornication. Others have felt that their dignity was lost, because they gave themselves away just to hear the words, “I love you,” or “You’re beautiful.” Virginity was never meant to be “lost.” Sex was never meant to be a mistake or a flippant act.

While the world around us in TV, movies and music makes virginity look ridiculous, I knew in my heart I never wanted to “lose” my virginity to some boyfriend in a nasty college dorm room or in his parents’ house or in his apartment just to have some practice for my future husband. I wasn’t taught the Puritanistic view that “sex is bad.” In fact, I learned the Catholic view that sex is good, beautiful, and holy. Sex is the consummation of the wedding vows, and your body is making a promise of those vows (even if you do not). The vows you make with your heart and voice on your wedding day—to love freely, totally, faithfully, and fruitfully—are then expressed with your bodies later on that night. Sex makes the vows incarnate. So technically, you’re not married if you haven’t consummated your sacramental marriage, because the vows have not yet been fulfilled bodily.

That’s why on my wedding night I didn’t “lose” my virginity. I freely chose to give myself—body, mind, heart, and soul—to my husband who promised to love me ‘til death do us part. I definitely didn’t feel shame or loss. I didn’t feel dirty or bad. I felt beautiful and holy and child-like. And my husband? You can bet that he did the same and felt the same. Even if virginity has been “lost” at some point in the past, it is still possible with Reconciliation and God’s grace to be able to, for the first time, give oneself freely, totally, faithfully, and fruitfully. And trust me: when sex includes all of those things, that’s when someone really knows what they’re doing.

Reclusive Deity Hasn’t Written A New Book In 2,000 Years

From The Onion, a satirical site that does not claim to be real news.

NEW YORK—Leading writers, scholars, and publishers gathered this week at Fordham University for a literary conference and panel discussion on God, the widely praised but reclusive deity who has not published a book since His landmark debut 2,000 years ago.

Hailed by critics as one of the most important authors in recent millennia, the eccentric divinity is said to have long ago retreated from the public eye, eschewing a life of celebrity for one of solitude and quiet. To this day, experts confirmed, His artistic reputation rests exclusively upon His bestselling and highly acclaimed first work, the Bible.

“God has granted no interviews, made no public appearances, and kept entirely to Himself for what seems like ages, and yet it’s fair to say that no other author has been quite so influential,” said noted critic and conference attendee James Wood, observing that while the fiercely private immortal being has only one book to His credit, He remains among the world’s most respected and quoted writers. “For many readers, God’s writing had a transformative impact on their lives, and countless people list His book among their favorite titles. But for reasons that we can only speculate about, God has chosen to stay out of the limelight and let His words speak for themselves. Perhaps it is God’s retreat into His own world that allowed Him to render His vision so vividly on the page.”

Click here to continue reading.

Diocese of Boise Seminarians

Seminary is where the journey to the priesthood begins. What does it look like? What do seminarians do? Who are our seminarians from Idaho? Here's a short video to learn about the six seminarians from our Diocese of Boise who are studying at Mount Angel Seminary near Salem, Oregon this year. Another two seminarians are at Mundelein Seminary outside Chicago and one is on his pastoral year in Rupert, Idaho.

Coming soon is an opportunity for young men to visit the seminary. The cost is low (only $40), and the trip will begin with the drive to Mount Angel (about eight hours) on Thursday, Oct. 16 after school going until a return on Sunday, Oct. 19 after attending Mass. If you're interested, talk to Daniel today.

Their Stories, Your Story

These are two friends of mine from Mount Angel Seminary with unique stories about their calls to seminary and to the priesthood. What is your story?

Author: More teens becoming 'fake' Christians

By John Blake, CNN

(CNN) -- If you're the parent of a Christian teenager, Kenda Creasy Dean has this warning: Your child is following a "mutant" form of Christianity, and you may be responsible.

Dean says more American teenagers are embracing what she calls "moralistic therapeutic deism." Translation: It's a watered-down faith that portrays God as a "divine therapist" whose chief goal is to boost people's self-esteem.

Dean is a minister, a professor at Princeton Theological Seminary and the author of "Almost Christian," a new book that argues that many parents and pastors are unwittingly passing on this self-serving strain of Christianity.

She says this "imposter'' faith is one reason teenagers abandon churches.

"If this is the God they're seeing in church, they are right to leave us in the dust," Dean says. "Churches don't give them enough to be passionate about."

What traits passionate teens share
Dean drew her conclusions from what she calls one of the most depressing summers of her life. She interviewed teens about their faith after helping conduct research for a controversial study called the National Study of Youth and Religion.

The study, which included in-depth interviews with at least 3,300 American teenagers between 13 and 17, found that most American teens who called themselves Christian were indifferent and inarticulate about their faith.

The study included Christians of all stripes -- from Catholics to Protestants of both conservative and liberal denominations. Though three out of four American teenagers claim to be Christian, fewer than half practice their faith, only half deem it important, and most can't talk coherently about their beliefs, the study found.

Many teenagers thought that God simply wanted them to feel good and do good -- what the study's researchers called "moralistic therapeutic deism."

Some critics told Dean that most teenagers can't talk coherently about any deep subject, but Dean says abundant research shows that's not true.

"They have a lot to say," Dean says. "They can talk about money, sex and their family relationships with nuance. Most people who work with teenagers know that they are not naturally inarticulate."

In "Almost Christian," Dean talks to the teens who are articulate about their faith. Most come from Mormon and evangelical churches, which tend to do a better job of instilling religious passion in teens, she says.

No matter their background, Dean says committed Christian teens share four traits: They have a personal story about God they can share, a deep connection to a faith community, a sense of purpose and a sense of hope about their future.

To continue reading, click here.

Saving Grace by Mary's Meals

The Dating Game

 

By Esther Rich, ChastityProject.com
See the original story here

A few weeks ago, I was at the gym with a friend when I saw a guy who I was certain I recognized but couldn’t decide where from. Good-looking, dark hair, athletic build, training with the university boxing team. There was no denying he was attractive. Then it dawned on me where I’d seen him before. Every Sunday he rushes into Mass late, on his own, and sits at the back of the church.

While mentally congratulating myself for working this out, I happened to mention it to my friend. Her automatic response was “oh yeah, he’s hot and he’s Catholic’—you should ask him out!” What did I know about him at this point? He’s physically attractive, and he’s Catholic. Not much! Yet this was apparently enough to warrant asking the guy out. What’s more, I’m pretty sure the ‘and he’s Catholic’ was only added because my friend was aware this would be one of my terms.

I didn’t know his name, his age, his nationality or his interests, and yet it struck me that nowadays the natural next step would be to ask him on a date purely based on appearance. Physical attraction might motivate some to pursue one night stand, but it’s certainly not a sufficient basis for a longer lasting relationship. Somewhere along the line, dating has become a recreational activity instead of a discernment process.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t date someone unless you’re 100% certain you’re going to marry them, but I am saying that if you’re pretty certain you’re not going to marry them then you probably shouldn’t consider dating them.

In his book ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’, Joshua Harris fantastically explains the difference between dating for entertainment and dating intentionally. He offers 7 habits of defective dating to look out for in our own relationships and attitudes towards them:

1. Dating leads to intimacy but not commitment.
2. You skip the ‘friendship stage’ of the relationship.
3. Physical relationships are mistaken for love.
4. The relationship isolates a couple from other friends.
5. The couple is distracted from preparing for the future.
6. Discontentment with the gift of singleness arises.
7. A person’s character is evaluated in an artificial environment.

It’s so easy to fall into any one of these traps, particularly while we’re surrounded by a culture of instant gratification that teaches us that we can have anything we want without much effort. But defective dating will inevitably lead to a painful break up or, worse, defective marriage! Changing the end result requires us to change the process. Changing the process can begin now—whether you’re in a long term relationship, just starting out, or are single.

Take the time to get to know someone and discern the potential for a relationship before you begin dating. If you become romantically involved too soon, it’s easy to get stuck in a relationship which is unhealthy, restrictive and, ultimately, destructive. Instead of rushing into a serious relationship for fear of being alone, or going on date after date after date with different people but having no real focus, allow God to work in his own time. Trust that He will provide what you need, when you need it.

You don’t have to buy into the dating game. There’s another way. A better way. God’s way! And for our part that’s the simplest way of all.

Let the Music Play

Whether a Man Can Be a Cafeteria Catholic

By Fr. Gaurav Shroff

“I’m Catholic, but I don’t really believe in X.” This is a common enough statement, either explicitly professed or implicitly held, even among Catholics who are, as they say, regular church-goers. “X” may represent any variety of things: a whole slew of issues relating to human sexuality on which the Church has definite teachings, the nature of Christ (“a good moral example” but not “the Son of God” and “my Lord and Savior”), religious indifferentism (“all roads lead to heaven,” thus denying the uniqueness of Christ), the necessity of the sacraments for salvation, the uniqueness of the Catholic Church (“it’s all the same, go where you fit in”), the obligations of justice to the poor, etc. Some may actually be coming to church for a variety of reasons, but not believe much of what the Church teaches at all, about God, man, the universe, the moral law, etc.

The thing is, “going to church” is really the manifestation of supernatural faith, that is, by participating in the worship of God in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, that worship in “spirit and truth,” established by Christ, regulated by the Church, until He comes again. One can go to Mass for other reasons (culture, family pressure, to meet an eligible Catholic girl, aesthetics [if one is fortunate to be in a place where the Mass is celebrated beautifully!]), but the primary reason is because of faith.

Now faith is, first of all the full and complete response of the whole person to the God who reveals (Catechism of the Catholic Church, #144). However, because man is made to know God who is Truth itself, as well as to love Him, who is Goodness itself, faith also involves an assent to a revealed body of truths about God, truths that would not be accessible to human reason unaided. Faith is a gift of God, and comes to us from outside ourselves (CCC, #153, Rom. 10:17. No one “makes himself” a Christian), but at the same time a human act of response, obedience, and assent (CCC #154).

So what is going on when a Catholic says, “I’m Catholic, but I don’t really believe in X?” In his study of the virtue of faith, St. Thomas Aquinas asks the question thus: “Whether a man who disbelieves one article of faith, can have lifeless faith in the other articles?” (ST IIa IIae q. 5 a. 3) Thomas’ answer is a very definite and clear “no.”

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Spoken Word

Post by Jesus Christ is KING.

Catholic Funnies

 

During a Eucharistic Congress, a number of priests from different orders are gathered in a church for Vespers. While they are praying, a fuse blows and all the lights go out.

The Benedictines continue praying from memory, without missing a beat.

The Jesuits begin to discuss whether the blown fuse means they are dispensed from the obligation to pray Vespers.

The Franciscans compose a song of praise for God’s gift of darkness.

The Dominicans revisit their ongoing debate on light as a signification of the transmission of divine knowledge.

The Carmelites fall into silence and slow, steady breathing.

The parish priest, who is hosting the others, goes to the basement and replaces the fuse.

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.
CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.
HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation’s range.
RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.
INCENSE: Holy Smoke!
JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams.
JONAH: The original “Jaws” story.
JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.
KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.
MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn’t covered by an HMO. Holiday travel has always been rough.
PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.
PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.
RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.
RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.
TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.
USHERS: The only people in the parish who don’t know the seating capacity of a pew.

Reclaiming our Story

Rediscover the Genius of Catholicism from Dynamic Catholic on Vimeo.

Pitch Imperfect

By Rachel Allen, LifeTeen.com

Last week, as soon as Mass ended, the sweet little old lady sitting in front of me loudly announced to anyone within earshot that I (apparently) sing off-key. Totally shocked, I responded, “Well, I guess that’s why I’m out here, and not back there in the choir loft.” Listen, lady, I never promised you perfection from the pew behind you.

But I’d be lying if I said her comment didn’t sting, just a little. After all, I was always taught to do my best, in everything I attempted: in school, clubs, sports, relationships, even faith – and I’ll include singing at Mass on the list.

Then suddenly, somewhere along the line, it seemed like “doing my best” wasn’t good enough unless my best resulted in perfection. It must have started around the first day of high school, when they told me that colleges would be looking at my every move. They’d check my grades, extracurriculars, service work, and leadership – every step of the way.

And then… then came Pinterest. And Twitter and Facebook and Instagram, etc. Suddenly, the Internet was covered in pictures from my peers who were doing everything I’m doing… but better. I don’t even have a Pinterest account, but I’ve still felt the pressure to be the 4.0 valedictorian student athlete slash class president whose hair is always combed and whose car is always clean.

Be Ye Perfect

It’s something I still wrestle with, now. And it even affects my relationship with God. Because, as if all that wasn’t enough, Jesus said that He was setting the bar there, too: “So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48).

Go to Mass on Sundays (and weekdays, too). Definitely pray every day. Confess on a regular basis (did you know there are saints who went to Confession every.single.day?) and throw in at least one Rosary a week. Did you meditate 20 minutes on today’s Gospel? What do you mean, you’ve never heard of the Divine Mercy Chaplet?! There’s a saint of the day, too – memorize that biography! And give some money to the Church and/or to charities, plus spend some time serving in your community.

And THEN, if you’re good enough – only then, if you check off the things on His list – God will give you the things on your list, too.

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Who You're Using When She's Using the Pill

Remember that awkward moment when you got “the talk”? If you did get it, odds are it ranks among one of the more uncomfortably unforgettable moments of both your life and the life of the one who explained the intricacies of the birds and the bees to you. My dad gave me the talk while we were working on a furnace together. I fulfilled my customary role of flashlight-holder while he rambled on about the mechanics of sexual intercourse – the thing was that his head wasn’t even visible while he did so, as he was laying on the floor, head on the underside of the machine. I was grateful for that: no eye contact; my dad likely was, too. Yet, when all was said and done, one task got done the right way – the family was warm again – but the other was left horribly unfinished.

Odds are that most of our upbringings left us without a real, convincing understanding of the relationship between sex and love. Most of us got just the basics of how the biological act works, if we got the talk at all. Adding salt to the wound, the cultural surrounding continues to offer an impoverished understanding of both sex and love, leaving us rather confused and disoriented. In the midst of this void, we have a real need for clarity and truth.

And it’s in this light that I’d like to invite you to take an honest, objective look at the Church’s teaching on the immorality of artificial birth control. Often times, if we’re presented with an argument supporting the Church’s stance here, it’s given awkwardly and insufficiently. The common explanation basically runs like this: “You have to let God in and allow him to decide when and whether you have a baby, being open to life as a gift from Him.” This, understood in the proper light, is a true statement. It is also immensely unconvincing.

In fact, there seem to be many other things which God ought to be more concerned about in this regard: Doesn’t he care about responsible parenthood, having only the children we can support? Doesn’t God allow us and want us to use science to advance man’s dominion over creation and to better human existence? Doesn’t he call us to be stewards of the earth and our family? Doesn’t he know that having one more kid would kill me and my wife?

In the end, it seems that the Church has to pony up a little here and give an explanation that’s more understandable and convincing. The present article hopes to contribute to this discussion.

First, however, we need to understand something about how the Church views human sexuality versus how the society views human sexuality. We’ll look at it in three parts:

What is sex?

The Church: Sex is a beautiful gift of God, especially when considered on the level of a human being, who is a person capable of reasoning, freely choosing, and loving

The Society: Sex is a biological act that satisfies a basic need that must be met in whatever way possible, according to the desire of the individual

What does sex mean?

The Church: Sex is meaningful. It has a twofold, objective meaning: First, it expresses in a bodily way the deepest possible love that exists between a man and a woman. It says, in its action, “I give myself entirely to you in love.” This is a beautiful gift: the ability to express in the body a spiritual love. Secondly, sex is the way that a human being participates in the procreative work of God. The child conceived through sexual intimacy is only conceived along with God: while the couple offers the material body of the child, he alone fashions its soul. God is intimately involved in a couple’s intimacy. This twofold meaning gives direction to human sexuality.

The Society: Sex is meaningless. It has meaning only if I give it meaning. Sex is what I choose to make it. In itself, sex has no objective significance; however an individual chooses to use his sexual faculty is his prerogative; he decides how to satisfy this bodily need.

How is sex related to love?

The Church: Human sexuality is inseparable from love. If the act of sexual intimacy does not occur within the context of love, it fails to live up to its objective meaning. No one can perform an action that says, “I give myself entirely to you in love,” and at the same time not mean it without severely abusing the gift of sex and himself in the process. True love is committed, undying, self-sacrificial love: a type of love that is found in its totality in a marital relationship.

The Society: Sex is only connected to love if you want it to be. Ideally, it’s connected to love; however, if the urge needs to be satisfied, better just to scratch the itch.

The basic question that arises, then, is whether sex is meaningful or meaningless.

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