A Horrible Idea

This is a blog post by a teen I knew as her youth minister in Seattle, current friend, and fellow fighter. It's raw, it's got a couple cuss words, and it approaches a difficult topic in a way you may not have heard before. Read on if you can relate.

If radical honesty isn’t your cup of tea, I won’t blame you for ignoring what I’m about to say.

In fact, this could all be a horrible idea, but I’m gonna say something, because most women aren’t saying anything (and I’m Italian, so vulnerability and speaking my mind are strong suits).

Here’s the story:

Imagine an 11-year-old girl, curious about the world, home alone with a computer. Have you ever gone to look something up, typed ONE wrong letter in the web address, and ended up seeing a lot “more” than you planned? Most people rapidly close the window and try again. Some people stop and look… especially curious 11-year-olds.

Then I looked again. And again.

Browser history –> DELETE

Give me a few weeks, and I had developed a meticulous ritual of moving the Ethernet cable from our newer desktop computer to the ancient one we never used (but still had sitting out), booting it up, looking at pictures I didn’t understand (yet desperately pined to see), carefully deleting the browser history, powering down, and moving the Ethernet cable back into place. All this because somehow I knew it wouldn’t be kosher with the parentals.

This went on for years – no hyperbole. We’re talking 365 x 4 (at least). I only got caught once, and even then, mia famiglia didn’t realize the half of it. I managed to talk my way out pretty easily (what can I say – Italians are manipulative, too).

If somehow you haven’t gathered the gist of what I’m getting at, it’s this big ugly word that makes people feel uncomfortable.

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