Matthew Kelly's newest book is Resisting Happiness. Below is an excerpt that reminded me of how important our role can be as spiritual coaches for teens and clarified what that role should be. If you imagine him saying spiritual coach every time he says coach, it will make sense.
Whenever I speak to the coaches, I warn them about one scenario. "You are going to be tempted to judge yourself as a coach by how well your participants perform. That's a mistake and it leads to a bad place. Your participants' successes and failures are their own. You cannot take credit for their successes, and you cannot take blame for their failures. Your job is to coach them well by faithfully following the coaching program. Otherwise you will end up crossing a line that a coach should never cross. You will find yourself in a place where you want it for them more than they want it for themselves. Then you will make your first mistake. You will do something for them that they should be doing for themselves. You will think you are helping them, but it is a lie and you know it. Your job is to empower those you coach; when you do for them what they should be doing for themselves, you create entitlement and dependency rather than empowerment. It is incredibly frustrating when you see amazing possibilities for the people you are coaching, and you want it more for them than they want it for themselves. Don't give in to that frustration!"
God wants you to be happy even more than you want it yourself.
Imagine how frustrated God is with us, seeing all that is possible and knowing how we squander so much. But he will not cross the line. He will not step over your free will. God wants to empower you for mission. He has put you in this world for a specific mission, but first he has to prepare you.
God wants heaven for you even more than you want it for yourself.
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