How do I love myself?

“Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” He said to him, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” -Matthew 22:36-39

During this first week of Love Month, I realized that when I look at the greatest commandment, I often forget the last two words. I'm not just to love God and neighbor; I am to love myself.

How do I do love myself? It's not as easy as it sounds. You would think this would be easy. In one sense, I am more lenient with myself. I might think of myself as a good person. I go to church. I pray each night. I even go to Confession regularly. I take care of my physical needs by eating well, exercising, sleeping. I do things that stimulate my mind and build healthy relationships.

But are these things really loving myself?

How do I handle self doubt? Do I check my destructive behaviors? Am I practicing moderation and fasting so that I have self control and freedom to make healthy choices? Do I just fulfill my religious duty or am I in relationship with a God I can trust and love?

The difference in providing for myself and loving myself is a fine line, but it is distinct. Taking care of myself is one part, but feeding my soul is another. Jesus didn't specify how we are to love ourselves, and for each person it is different.

Some of the ways I love myself are to seek solitude, spirituality, and silence. These come in many forms.

Solitude can be getting up from my desk in the office so I can have a few minutes of quiet on the other side of the building. Solitude can be going on a run on my day off. Solitude can be foregoing plans with friends so I can have a day to myself for reading, cooking, napping, and doing laundry.

Spirituality can be reading a Christian book. Spirituality can be daily journaling. Spirituality can be praying through memories with a trusted friend.

Silence can be the nightly time reflecting on my day and sitting in the space I allot for God to speak. Silence can be quietly taking in a situation rather than responding emotionally. Silence can be turning off the radio and the noise during the car ride home.

I wish I were better at loving myself. Like most people, I struggle with many things about my physical appearance, my adequacy at work, my purpose in life, and my devotion to God's will. Like most people, I'm on a journey of self love.

What are the ways you love yourself? How well are you following the commandment of Jesus?